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Eh, Winter, Etc.

by r. Candall Lark

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1.
I was born choking on my mother, a fully grown brand new baby brother. Brought to you by toy train right to our house, here to burn all of your automobiles, and to abandon you in their nest and to let them sting poison all in your head. Sweet Baby Blue, You were born to, Black and Blue, And your skin too My father said he held the prescience of my death, from the moment he first held me and those doctors and all the tubes down my throat and up my nose I was born one cold November night, and I'd be back there in due time. And to this day my breathing works just alright but I still choke on her sometimes.
2.
Alta View, do you remember me?
3.
4.
Hanover 03:05
5.
The Quail 04:58
My father would smoke his pipe out the window next to the couch where I'd sleep and he's turn to me and say, "Sorry were you sleeping?" No shit I was sleeping, it's the morning but I find the cold air refreshing. I'm getting sick of all this hospital food. There was a time I would have loved all this food, Back when my father was dying but this role is overdone and I'm sick of all this dying LDS, and Saint Luke's Saint Marks and Alta View Intermountain too, I'm getting sick of you But it's okay father, I don't mind the cold. I will think of this when I'm old and I'll think of you when I'm old.
6.
Kodiak Rug 06:33
Cars were made of steel back in the day so they could my grandfather's weight when he would step up on their hoods and he would piss on their windows carving paths through the snow Like he would with my father He would stay up all night on easter Hollowing out candy Glueing Foil and happy and he would leave a card In the basket, On the car Written finely in cursive, That the phantom had struck once more And that is the only nice story I've ever heard about him My father's father is an asshole, A phantom in man's cloths A reaper of good souls, my father's father is an asshole the only time I ever met him, he called me a coward A child crying from an old mans tricks, the illusions of a crusty old prick I hope he's happy with the life he's chose, every one he's ever loved will hate him till he goes A once scary legend is now no more And that is why, I know that cars were made of steel back in the day
7.
Gift Of God 05:51
My face pressed to the glass, frost kiss my lips, my mouth tastes like ash. I burnt my tongue on the cherry of a cigarette. I spilled my drink all over my chest. We crawled in through the window and we drove drunk all the way home. But we survived fortunately. No, I do not want to drink their blood. Friend, I cannot give you the help that you need. Now I would like to go home. There is disease dripping down your throat. From the nightmares you put up your nose and its cold. Can we roll up the window? We dont always need to smoke Do you remember when your name meant gift of god? And no I do not want to drink their blood Do you remember when we were just kids? do you?
8.
Blizzard 02:16
9.
10.
I felt you in my mouth before I woke You know me Adilene, but I don't know you. What goes on behind those eyes? Hell, of it I'm sure It is cold tonight but I would rather sleep alone In me your teeth you kept on the couch where I once slept I felt you in my mouth before I woke You know me Adilene, or at least you did
11.
Up on the hill, Bountiful City, My grandparents city. Out the window I see, Christmas Light Waiting for me, out in the sea of black Tending to be brighter than those Old smoke stacks As I sit Impatiently in the back, A bright shining star You can't hold back Do you see the mountains off in the distance? I bet it's much colder up there One flashing red light Waiting for me out in the sea of black Tending to be, brighter than that Alpine's back As I live, we're all falling through the cracks A tall warning light that my life has so lacked Marcus, how many did you count?
12.
We came here just for lunch And I've spent a fortune on being dumb And Grand Junction sure is fun but how long can we keep this up? I stepped up out of the car, east dessert snow echo in my eyes I poison the ground, you accidentally saw inside Burning pit that your life is, It's gotta come from something. And I am not good for what I did, that much I can admit And playing people sure fun, But I just couldn't keep it up And fucking people sure is fun but I just couldn't keep it up Just a role in your menagerie, aesthetic only like lingerie
13.
I remember being in my house We were watching tv Like old friends from the movies You had told me about that night in Chicago And I had told you about the man in black and white I ran to the store My pants not buckled quite right I talk to the cashier Pride fueling my life, I saunter on home But this wasn't the first time I lost my virginity And the same went for you But at least we could do this consensually At least we could do this all together And I walked you to the train station And I watched as you flew away When I walked home I felt cold The sky grey and dull I called my friends hoping they'd be proud of me But I felt nothing I told my brother hoping he'd give me the word I'd need but I cried instead The world was supposed to be ending but we survived fortunately What kind of man can't cum? Well I guess that's just the type of person that I am I felt empty But I guess I didn't really lose anything
14.
Cockroach on my cup, from the place makes me want to throw up Cold air, 4 am, Snowy night, On a ship so bright. Scummin it up, four on a bed for two and I'm waking up next to you Coffee in the morning, we'd do this all the time but it's just nice spending time with you The morning winter breeze is forever with you Friend, I do miss you. You are still breathing, I just haven't been seeing a whole lot of you. Do you remember shit talking our friends and encouraging each other? Do you remember when we both fucked up? And we said enough is enough? Do you remember in your basement I opened up to you? and in your car I opened to you How do you know him? The last real thing you said to me, as a friend and not in passing.
15.
Landown 08:06
16.

about

This is my third album, and the third of a trilogy in a way. Its an amalgamation of themes of my two previous album but much more constructed and better thought out. The whole thing is meant as a thematic story, following the start and end of winter; as well the journey away from emotional immaturity towards something resembling personal accountability. This album ended up being a lot more than I intended it too. I originally intended for it to mean an fun, slightly emotional album about my memories associated with winter but it ended being much more abrasive and an emotional roller coaster. I am the most satisfied with this than anything else I've done but I'm glad it's over. Making this hurt me a lot at parts, but I feel good that I did something I'm proud of with that pain. I hope to make some much softer and prettier next.

EDIT March 2018: Tapes are a
Available from the mount seldom website
Or from me in person!

credits

released December 25, 2017

All Songs Written, Recorded, Produced by Marcus Koncar

Marcus Koncar: Acoustic and Electric Guitar, Banjo, Accordion, Melodica, Lap Steel Guitar, Piano, Synthesizer, Glockenspiel, Mandolin, Theremin, Sleigh Bells/Tambourine/Snare, Bass Guitar, Clarinet

Trevyn Olsen: Cello on Snow Colored Leaves, Kodiak Rug, and Blizzard

Thanks to Lynn for letting me use his Lap Steel, Thanks to myra for letting me borrow her clarinet indefinitely, and thanks to Jasper for the amazing birthday present of a glockenspiel. As well, thanks to everyone for being so wonderful.

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Marcus Koncar (r. Candall Lark) Salt Lake City, Utah

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